Kiss5Tigers

The 5 Tigers represent the big things in life. This blog is about facing them.


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Working Again

I will be going back to work next week. I don’t know what day yet.

I passed the interview at Michael’s and they requested information for a background check. I know I’ll pass that, I just have to wait for them to do their due diligence. The manager thought it would be 24 to 48 hours, but then she remembered this was the weekend so it might take an extra day. Once I pass, they’ll let me know when I work.

I am also going to talk to W about what she does. She seems to think I could be pretty good at it. I just need more information about it.

It’s finally gotten chilly here in Texas. I know it won’t last, but I’m sure enjoying the cooler temperatures. I like shirts with sleeves. The best part is, the cats have become cuddly. I love their furry little bodies snuggled up against me. Charli has been sitting in my lap.

Charli and Komori nesting in a fuzzy blanket

There has been a certain amount of haggling over the fuzzy blanket. I sleep under it and I don’t mind sharing it with the kitties. However, the dogs also want to lay on it, which I do mind. Frankly, the dogs are smelly and make the blanket smell like dog. I assume cats are also smelly, but to me they have no odor. Perhaps I am prejudiced.

Tomorrow I have a DBSA staff meeting at 11. That seems pretty early but it means we’ll be done early too so the rest of the afternoon I’m planning on making art. I haven’t made anything in a while now, it’s time to get back to it. Maybe take a nap, but definitely make some art.

And do laundry. I should really do some laundry tonight but I’m not motivated. I need clean clothes for the rest of the weekend but the idea of doing laundry is just overwhelming. I’m actually thinking of taking a nap now, except that it’s so close to bedtime.

But I really need to use some of my art supplies. I just don’t have the energy to start now. I am going to settle into the sofa with the animals and watch Ancient Aliens. TV then bed sounds like a good idea.


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Yay, Fog

I left the house early Friday morning to drive to work. I leave before the sun comes up, which already is not my favorite time to drive. But that day, there was fog. Not mist, not haziness, actual fog. I couldn’t see the house across the street. The streetlight at the end of the street appeared suspended like the moon in the sky; it did not illuminate the area like usual.

I tried to drive, but I wasn’t out of the neighborhood before I realized I couldn’t do it. I went home and waited a half hour before trying again.

Now let me be clear. I am not a fan of horror movies so this isn’t like I believed monsters were going to get me. I felt like I could not see well enough through the fog to be safe. I didn’t want to hit anyone and I didn’t trust my reflexes due to the early hour.

At the second attempt, there was fog the way most people think of fog. I got on the highway, creeping along at 50 mph, feeling like I was going too fast for what I could see. However, other drivers felt that 65 or 70 was a better speed. I realized I was a hazard and pulled over, waiting until the sun was fully up.

I called my employee assistance program and they talked me down, I was so freaked out. I wanted to cry. I was unprepared to be so afraid of driving in less than sunny weather.

Of course I was late for work, which is a different problem, but still a factor.

After work, I went to my doctor. I would have gone to the psychiatrist but he is closed on Fridays. I was shaking and upset. I actually did cry in his office because I am so frustrated by this situation. I just want to go to work, nothing unusual.

Doctor asked if I thought this would happen again. Well, we are coming up on 2 weeks of bad weather, so yes it very much could happen again. He prescribed me some rescue meds to take the edge off. Catch 22: they may make me too sleepy to drive. So I have meds to take to calm down during stressful driving that could stop me from driving at all. I hope that doesn’t happen because I can choose not to drive without taking meds if it comes to that. I want to drive and get on with normal life.

So I have put new tires on the car and during the bad weather, I’m taking the train to work.

I just want to live life without freaking out over things.