Kiss5Tigers

The 5 Tigers represent the big things in life. This blog is about facing them.


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What I’ve Been Doing

I was sitting here drinking the coffee that my roommate L has made for me and I realized that you don’t know what I actually do with my time while I’m demobilized.  I’ve done a fair amount of complaining about things and I’ve certainly shared my (mis)adventures, but really life is pretty good and I want to share some of that.

I sleep most days until 9 or 10 in the morning.  I usually wake up with my cats cuddled up to me, which makes me happy.  If you have pets, you understand this.  Or children, I suppose, though as a mother I dislike comparing pets and children.

I get up and check facebook and email and other online things I’m working on.  I take my morning meds and eat some peanut butter toast.  I like the way the hot toast melts the peanut butter.  Usually by then L is up so there is coffee.  Now you may ask why I don’t make my own coffee since I certainly know how.  The truth is, we use a French press and the thing is just a pain to clean.  I am lazy.  That’s my big secret.  If L makes the coffee, she cleans it up.  Yup, that’s it, silly as it is.

Most days I go to a support group.  I use a peer run support group cluster that is available through a local mental health facility.  It’s free.  Mondays is DBSA, the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance and we are working out of a book about managing life while struggling with a behavioral health concern.  Tuesday is Recovery International which has a very formal method.  It does however teach you to deal with daily life, something I don’t always do very well.  Wednesday is the PTSD group.  I don’t have PTSD but nobody is without trauma.  Thursday is a depression support group.  Friday is ATTA, which stands for Achievement Through the Arts.  It’s for artists with brain differences, so there is a mix of people with issues ranging from schizophrenia to injury.  Most of these groups meet for 2 hours, so that gives me a whole lotta free time.

I have been writing letters.  I have an extensive mailing list that I am trying to send everybody something and see who writes back.  Then I’ll keep up with the respondents.  I like getting mail and to get mail, one must send mail.

I also have been working on the 100 Hats project.  I want to sell them but I suspect most of them will wind up donated.  And that’s fine, for me the joy is in the making.  Speaking of making, I am working on some art pieces as well.  One of them is based on my friend K’s living room.

I stay up with my roommates until around 1 in the morning, then I lay in bed on the phone until 2 then I sleep.  So 10 am is really 8 hours of sleep, which is good for me.

I do see friends and go out to eat and run errands.  It makes for a pretty full life, but I would like to be deployed again.  Not that I wish for bad things to happen, but when a disaster hits, I am ready.


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On Being Slightly Manic

It happens from time to time.  I think I’m okay and then, well, I’m not.

It 2:10 am and I just ate my third meal of the day.  I have eaten toast, a McDouble, and now 2 servings of pasta salad with no protein component.  I think if it had meat in it, I might have had only 1 serving.  The problem with eating so late is that it means I have been up long enough to get hungry again.  Now I will have some increase in energy and feel even less like sleeping.

Sleep has been off for me the last few days.  I’ve been up late at night, though I still sleep only 8 or so hours.  I just would rather sleep until say 7:30 not 12:30 in the afternoon.  I am a slow waker so I don’t want to get up late since it will take an hour or so to start my day.  And if it’s too late in the day, I might get nothing done at all.

But I am up now.  Up and typing and wondering if there’s anybody else awake who’d like to interact.  Probably not.  Or at least, if they are, they are looking for someone to talk dirty and I’m not down for that.

Up and a little ADD right now.  I am typing, watching TV, monitoring both email and facebook, eating, trying to pet the cat (the cat is not cooperating) and planning some art projects.  It’s really too much and I should be overwhelmed or distracted but I’m not.

I’m talking a little too much today I think.  I feel like I took over group today, even though I really didn’t.  I feel pushy and a little controlling.  I think I don’t act that way, but I feel it.

If I had money, I would do some shopping.  At this time of night it would be online shopping, which is fun twice.  Once when I do the shopping itself and again when the stuff arrives.  I don’t need anything so shopping is frivolous.

My computer is going to die shortly, the battery has almost run out.  I will put the computer to charge then get out my knitting, watch TV and knit.  Or maybe I’ll plug in the computer out here and watch some anime and knit.

I should sleep, sleeping would be the smart thing, but I’m not tired yet.  Maybe I’ll stay up tonight and try to sleep at a normal time tomorrow.

 

If this man can overcome his issues, I can overcome mine

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This is Arthur. He was doing the right thing, and it basically kicked his ass. So he got his determination together and kicked life right back. I cried for him, and I’m not a weepy person. Watch to the end, and look how happy he has become!