Kiss5Tigers

The 5 Tigers represent the big things in life. This blog is about facing them.


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Ecstacy and Hospitals

A young friend of mine, L, went to the hospital early on Thursday. I got the call from her roommate M at 5:45 in the morning. I always get these calls just before my alarm goes off.

L had been offered some ecstacy by a friend of hers. She declined it and then went out. After a few drinks, the friend convinced L to take the drug. Things were fine for a while, then they went all pear-shaped.

L became violent and aggressive. She hit one of her friends in the face. She got mad at her boyfriend because he wasn’t her father. Then she decided she’d had enough and left the apartment. Her boyfriend sensed something was very wrong and went after her.

It’s a good thing he did.

She climbed to the roof of the parking lot and tried to go over the edge. Boyfriend restrained her. She began kicking and punching and biting. Two other friends and M came to help. It took all 4 of them to keep her on the ground. She was screaming the whole time, no words, just an unending shriek.

When she wasn’t screaming, she was talking to someone that nobody else could see. She kept saying “I see him,” but she wouldn’t or couldn’t say who she saw. We believe it was her deceased father but we’ll never know.

In the meantime, neighbors heard the ruckus. They stepped outside with phones. At least one of them called the police. That’s when M called me.

M was scared and crying. Both of those are perfectly understandable responses to the situation. I told her she was doing the right thing. She put me on speaker phone. When L heard my voice, she shouted, “You piece of shit! You’re never there!” and went back to the wordless yell.

M apologized to me, but really there was nothing to apologize for. We got off the phone and I called the cops again. I gave them some details that they didn’t have.

I heard later that a lady cop arrived first. She apparently was the mental health expert but once the male cops arrived, they didn’t treat her with respect. They cuffed L, who was cooperative with the process, and took her to a local hospital.

About fifteen minutes after that, I arrived at the apartment. The young people were all sitting in s circle, decompressing. They talked about what had happened. We all laughed uproariously when a cat missed a jump. It wasn’t that funny, we just all needed a break so badly at that point.

The friend who supplied the drug never appeared. I assumed she was at work or otherwise out. It turned out she was in her room watching cartoons. She had been there all night. She had not followed L outside or tried to help or even come out to see what all the commotion was. The whole group of young people is, as they say, over her. She lost a bunch of friends that night.

Boyfriend got together some clean clothes, L’s glasses, her wallet and keys, and we headed to the hospital. We tried emergency and they wouldn’t let us in. They told us they hadn’t seen her, but gave us a number to call. We tried the psych ward; they also said they hadn’t seen her. We tried psych emergency. They said they could neither confirm nor deny that they had her. That meant she was there so I left a message with my phone number. Boyfriend and I went home.

I spent the day wondering how she was. About 10 hours later, I called again and left another message. I gave the number to boyfriend and to M, so they could call and leave their numbers in case she preferred to call one of them. Finally the phone rang.

Of course nothing can go smoothly. I answered the phone, but there was no sound. I assumed it was L, so I explained that I couldn’t hear her and I was going to hang up. It happened 2 or 3 more times and I eventually called the ward. The person I spoke to said they’d been having trouble with one of the phones and they would provide her with different equipment. At last the phone rang and I could speak with L.

Her voice was hoarse from all the screaming and she sounded tired. She stated she hadn’t seen a doctor. I asked if she was in an observation room, since I assumed this was a 72-hour psych hold. She said no, she was in a big open room with recliners and no beds. She just wanted to sleep. We got off the phone.

I called the ward and asked about the doctor. It didn’t make sense that she had been there that long and not talked to anybody. Fortunately she had signed a piece of paper that they could talk to me. They told me she had been seen twice but she was so out of it that they weren’t surprised she didn’t remember. They also told me they were going to release her the next day, Friday. I said I would pick her up.

When I saw her, she looked rough. She was clearly tired and out of it. Her anxiety was high so we stopped at a gas station for gas, cigarettes, and drinks, then I took her home.

We have talked a few times since then even though it’s only been 2 days. We talked about what could have been different, what I could have done, ways I can be there for her. She broke her hand during the fracas so we talked about ways to splint it. She told me she plans to move since friend cannot be trusted and therefore was no longer a good roommate.

I am just glad L had friends who protected her from herself. I could wish everybody had friends like that.


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My Cat Is a Jerk But She Loves Me

I got very sick yesterday evening. Ended up in hospital, where they decided it was either food poisoning or a virus so they sent me home.

I had been visiting my friend Kelli, so I said my goodbyes and went to QT for some apple juice and Gatorade. I drank the apple juice and took a nap in the parking lot. I was just worn out from being sick.

I fell asleep about midnight and woke up about 3 am. I’m surprised nobody bothered me, like the police. But okay, nap was good. I got home about 45 minutes later.

Of course by then I needed to throw up the apple juice, so I projectile vomited all over the living room. I didn’t even remember until my roommate asked me about the stain on the carpet. How embarrassing. I mean, I just left a huge mess and climbed onto the sofa to pass out. I feel like I ruined the living room.

But she was nice about it. I think she wanted to be mad, but I am a little puny still, so she just got out the disinfectant. I didn’t even think of it having a viral load. I feel like crap about it. Or I would, if I was feeling better.

All I’ve done today is sleep. I’d swear I was on the Disney channel, I’ve seen movies like Alice Through the Looking Glass, and Beauty and the Beast. Well I haven’t really seen them, I’ve slept through them.

So this is me whining. I want a little more sympathy for being sick than I’ve gotten, but there it is.

Now my cat, Charli, hasn’t left me alone since I came home. She doesn’t sleep with me, but she sat on the arm of the sofa and guarded me. She also knocked everything but the computer off the table, and I think the only reason she left she computer alone is she likes to lay on it. It must be warm. I’m just glad I had the lid on the Gatorade.

You know you need Gatorade when it tastes like water. Usually it tastes like sweat.

Charli has patted me on the face and asked for attention this afternoon. She seemed really concerned about me, as much as a cat can seem concerned about anything. Momo kitty has just appeared and it laying on the table now.

Reminder, this is a folding tray table that I set up to use my computer. The cats like to lay on it; I don’t know why. So they push everything off. I had thought it was an accident. You know, they lay down and spread out and happen to push things off.

But no.

Today I saw Charli target certain items, like the mouse, and just push them over the edge. This is the most cat-like thing I’ve ever seen her do. So I am annoyed yet charmed, the usual opinion of cat lovers, I’m sure.

So pet love trumps bending over to pick things up. I’m thinking of another nap and Momo wants attention. I hope to feel better in a couple of hours.


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Waiting or Enabling?

I am trying to tell how much of this is my own fault.

I was going to give my daughter a ride to sell plasma today, and she was going to slip me $5 gas money. I put my last $20 in the gas tank, anticipating having that $5.

I went to a meeting and got out around noon. I did not have a message from my daughter with an address, so I checked into a book store to kill some time.

It’s all good. I copied some hat patterns out of some knitting and crochet books that I can’t afford to buy. It will make some variety in my 100 Hats Project. And I wrote some “morning pages” in my journal. I put it in quotes because, to be honest, I almost never write them in the morning. I drank a whole large water with ice. And I realized I was hungry.

I had tried several times to reach my daughter, waiting about an hour between attempts. The hunger eventually won out, and I texted her that I was going home.

Two hours after I got home, she texted me. She appears contrite. She did not ask for a ride. Which is good because I don’t have the gas to drive her and it was too late to sell blood for her to get gas money to give me.

It’s not very respectful of my time. I mean, I didn’t waste time, but I might have done something else if I’d known I wasn’t going to see her. I’m a little disappointed.

But more than that, I wonder if I”m a little too available. I wonder if I am excited to see her and she isn’t that interested in seeing me. I wonder if I”m preventing her from growing up and taking responsibility for herself. And if I’m wondering about it, the answer is probably yes.


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So This Happened This Morning

At I-45 and Wintergreen

I didn’t sleep last night and felt like a breakfast sandwich this morning because food balances tiredness. When I left the house, I noticed an oily black cloud along the horizon. Now I live in a fairly industrial area with a lot of warehouses, so I figured the dump was burning tires.

QT is the nearest place to get a snack. I drove to the store and noticed a line of police cars blocking the road. Fortunately they let me get into the gas station. When I got out of my car, I noticed the fire on the median strip. Being tired, I thought maybe they were burning off the dead grass, as some places do.

I went into QT. I was a little disappointed that they didn’t have the inexpensive breakfast sandwiches. They had the ones you could order from the counter, but I don’t want to pay $3.49 for something I can usually get for $1.59 so I didn’t get one. I did pick up a coffee for me, and hot dogs and cigarettes for my roommate. I went to the counter and paid.

I asked the young man at the register if he knew what had happened outside. He said no, and the lights went out. Yup, just that fast. I was the last customer that got served. I was glad I didn’t order a breakfast sandwich because there wouldn’t have been enough time to cook it.

I went outside and checked out the fire again. I noticed that it was a burning truck, and gawd only knows what happened for it to catch on fire. I have been alive 50 years and I have seen more vehicles on fire in the last 3 years than in the rest of my life all together. So I took a photo to share and went home.

And for my Yankee friends, the gas price you can’t quite make out is $1.99 per gallon for regular.