Kiss5Tigers

The 5 Tigers represent the big things in life. This blog is about facing them.


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Zines!

*Cough cough hack hack* That’s sound effects. I have developed a cough that I just cannot tolerate any longer. I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow.

In order to help me feel better, I ordered some zines. Some from Broken Pencil, which I’m so glad to see is still in print! I miss Factsheet5, which used to be for sale as a business. Only I didn’t have $10,000 to give them to own the name. I don’t imagine it’s still available.

I am taking a course from Leonie Dawson about making e-courses. The thing is, I need to pick a topic I know something about. I don’t have to know everything about the topic, but I can’t know nothing. I don’t feel like I know much about anything! And yet I must know things about things, I mean, I’ve lived this long and been pretty successful at it. Not amazingly successful, but I’ve made it this far, and I can keep going.

I am thinking about dinner. I don’t know what I want. Probably chicken and pasta, since I know we have that. Though I could go with a salad from Subway. But that would involve going out and spending money, and I just spent $70 on zines and books. I spend too much on printed material and I have no place to store it.

Speaking of my bedroom, I need to tear it apart one of these days. F and L will be out of the house for a long while on Friday so I am going to see how much I can get done with them gone. I need to move stuff out of the bedroom and re-pack it, but I don’t have anywhere to put stuff except the living room and that’s hard to do while people are using it.

F is having issues with bed bugs in his recliner, and he assumes they are migrating from my room. Now I will own it: I brought the little buggers home from a trip with a friend. She also got an infestation so I believe we picked them up at a hotel. So originally, they DID migrate out of my bedroom to the rest of the house. However. They have already colonized his recliner. I am not having issues in my room so I don’t believe they are migrating, I believe they have been reborn in situ.

F doesn’t agree. I don’t know if he thinks I’m lying or so oblivious that I wouldn’t notice bug bites or what. So I will tear the room apart and spray everything. It’s a pain in the ass but what else can I do? Either I have bed bugs that I’m not aware of, in which case I need to spray. Or I don’t have bed bugs but F doesn’t believe me, in which case I need to spray. To appease him. *shrug*

So Friday, while everyone is out of the house, I will remove some of the big pieces out of my room and spray. Then later while they are gone for a few days, I will bug bomb the room. I can sleep on the sofa while they’re gone overnight and give the poison time to work. It will actually be good to clean my room, I just hate doing it.

Actually, I hate cleaning when I feel like I’m being observed. That’s why I don’t vacuum with people in the house (well, besides the fact that I don’t vacuum, but I’ve already told you about that). I don’t enjoy cleaning to start with and I don’t like feeling watched. Watching me do something that I resent doing makes me very unhappy.

Well, time to find food. My tummy is telling me it’s empty so I’m off to raid the fridge.

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Life Moving Forward

I got an invitation to speak at a DBSA meeting in December. I accepted, pending deployment. At this rate, I assume I will not be.

It’s a panel discussion, sort of “meet the facilitators” type of thing. I don’t really have much to say. I feel like I’m something of a unicorn. I haven’t been hospitalized, I haven’t tried suicide, I gave up self medicating without a struggle, the doctor got the medication right the first time. I mean, I’m proof it can happen but I don’t feel like I’m typical. I am a little embarrassed by how easy it’s been for me.

The WRAP class is coming together. The facilitator has picked dates and times, I am just looking for a location. If we get enough people, we can have a room at UT Southwestern, but that location alone will cut down on the people who can get there. Ah, the balancing act. If they want it badly enough, they will come. But if you make it impossible for them to get there, you are not serving the population.

I have a dreadful cough. It’s making my ribs hurt but is rarely productive. Clearly an itch, post nasal drip. Probably an allergy. This is Texas after all.

Took my daughter to Planned Parenthood the other day. She has a boyfriend and doesn’t want babies, so she needs birth control. I like Planned Parenthood. They were affordable and professional, and she felt comfortable. Clean. Kind.

We tried a new poke place, Royal I.T. Cafe. It was adorable. We both got the Seafood Bowl. It was huge. The rice was hot which was a nice contrast to the chilled fish. There were 6 shrimps, an ice cream scoop of spicy tuna with mayo and a huge serving of salmon. Plus red onions, avocado and furikake. Neither one of us could finish it, but it was SO GOOD.

I went to art therapy today at Dallas Art Therapy, sponsored by Foundation45. It was interesting. I am too much in my head, though. I did better the first one than the second, but I did learn something. I wrote “the pain is not symmetrical” by which I meant physical pain, but it applies to my emotional pain as well. Most of my pain is due to loss. I feel it. The other person, the dead person, doesn’t miss me. Which is okay. I would hate for my mother to spend her afterlife missing me. Grief is rather one-sided, I’m afraid, but that is the nature of it.

I have signed up for a course from Leonie Dawson called “40 Days to Create + Sell Your ECourse“. I figure, I can be inspirational. I can use a stream of income that flows even when I’m busy. And Leonie, well, I remember when she was figuring it out. She’s got it sussed. I should definitely follow her path.

Maybe instead of writing a book, I should release a series of e-courses. Each chapter could be another course. There’s a thought . . .

I am also working on a book about human pollinators. They do the job that bees used to do, but by hand. I am trying to work out the action in the plot. I have some ideas, but no real outline yet. Still, everything starts somewhere.

I think that covers it for now. Like most of my posts, not really anything earth-shattering, but then life is full of average moments. I’m thinking of a nap now, actually bed based on the time, though it’s a bit early. Rest is so important.