Kiss5Tigers

The 5 Tigers represent the big things in life. This blog is about facing them.


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Work and Other Activities



I work now. I work at Michael’s. I also shop there. This is bad for me. I spent $30 yesterday which I really shouldn’t have but the stuff was marked down for stock reduction so if I didn’t get it, it might not be there in a week. Still, I didn’t need it right away. I could have waited, because there will be other cool stuff in the future.

So work. It’s a lot of banging a cash register, which is fine. I made a sale yesterday to a gentleman for over $600. It took forever to ring up, the line just kept getting longer while I was doing it, but it was quite a purchase. More than I’m going to earn this month.

I was asked to answer phones yesterday. Apparently there is a phone at some of the registers and when you’re at a register with a phone, you’re supposed to answer it. Now I object to that, though I haven’t said anything. When I am shopping, I don’t want the clerk stopping to answer the phone. I want their attention. I am the one who is there trying to give them money, ignore the damn phone. So when I am with a customer, I am totally with them. Treat people the way you want to be treated. I honestly don’t even hear the phone ring. But it bothers the other people so I’m trying to figure out a method for doing this. I can listen in between customers, though that won’t help if I get another $600 purchase.

I need to follow up with DBSA tomorrow. R asked me about it. In case you, dear reader, don’t recall, we are trying to put together a WRAP class for the community. The problem is, we need a place to hold it. R likes to do it as an 8 week course, so we need a place without a big fee. We’d like to use one of the facilities at the Meadows Foundation but they require particular paperwork showing DBSA’a status as a 501(c)3 charity. I am working with national headquarters to get it, but so far no luck. So tomorrow I need to send another email and see what’s going on with that.

I did some painting the other day. Craft type painting. I am making the bases for other projects, such as painting little boxes that I will decorate. I really need to do other kinds of painting. Because hopefully I will be able to participate in the art show on the 23rd. I guess i need to request the day off.

I will be house-sitting for K from the 20th to the 3rd. I’m looking forward to it. I need to get on top of my ecourse because that would be the perfect time to record the vocals. Her house is quiet and tidy so filming me would be okay. I’m gonna need a headset with a microphone. I need to pay for my blog right quick here too. I think I know how my last unemployment payment will be spent!

So it is almost 1:00 and I have work at 2:30. Time to get myself ready.




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I Got the Vest

I work at Michael’s now. It’s official. I even have the red vest. It’s a very busy store so I work registers and get no minute to breathe but that’s good. The job would be boring if I wasn’t busy, just standing at a register waiting. I am still very slow at checking people out but I can do it. I’ll get speedy with practice. Or at least speedier.

It has rained twice tonight, just sudden downpour out of nowhere. I am cold and sitting in my jeans with a blanket across my lap. I will sleep with 2 blankets in bed tonight.

I need to tell work that I’m not available on Thursdays. I am facilitating group the next 3 weeks, and I have DBSA meetings on alternate Thursday nights. It’s easier to just request the day off than to have them try to keep track of it.

I want to write a letter to my friend Fishspit. I owe him a letter. I owe lots of people letters. I have been particularly unmotivated to write lately. I haven’t even journalled in months. I miss journalling.

I am thinking of NaNoWriMo this month (November) but I have no idea how I’ll manage all that writing with my current slackerly attitude.

I need to work on my ecourse. I paid for the course for that so I really should take advantage.

Speaking of courses I’ve paid for, there is my Japanese course on Rosetta Stone and my life coach courses on Udemy. I really need to get on with it.

I mean, I get up in the morning and fall asleep because I just can’t find anything to stay awake for. Well, there are 3 things right there. Not to mention my new shopping club.

I want dessert. I want amazing dessert, not just some cookies. I want hot pecan pie with ice cream. Or chocolate mousse or creme brulee. Rice pudding. Chocolate lava cake. Fried ice cream. I don’t know, just something. I would probably be happy with rice krispie treats or those yogurt covered pretzels. But here I am, drinking my water, eating some mixed nuts in a single serving package.

I left my meds box in Longview on the road trip. I thought T was gonna bring it by tonight, but I guess not. Weather is too icky for me to want to drive up there. I figure I’ll get it tomorrow or the next day.

I am almost out of meds at the moment, I’ll have to call the pharmacy. I have to call the doctor too. I got an automated call to remind me of an appointment on Friday, but I can’t make it so I chose the “reschedule” option. The system said, “Your appointment has been rescheduled” and hung up on me. I’m like, rescheduled for when? Because I’m thinking that’s something else I have to move to Thursday. I tried to call back but the outgoing message said the office was closed.

I am feeling my singleness very keenly lately. I want a companion. I wouldn’t mind a little sex but a warm body to sleep next to would be perfect. Someone to share adventures. But I am somehow not right. I don’t know if I’m not pretty enough or if it’s because I have no sense of humor or if they can smell the bipolar on me. I wish I could figure it out because then I could fix it. Or choose not to, but at least it would be a choice, not just the way things are.

Well, off to take my meds. Good night.


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Working the WRAP

WRAP is Wellness Recovery Action Plan, and I’ve talked about it in some detail in other posts so I won’t bore you.

I am struggling with spending.

I am spending money I don’t really have to spare.

I can’t seem to halt the behavior.

So it’s time to get out my WRAP notebook.

What can I do when this takes over?

Oh, turn over the bank card to someone else! That really scares me so it’s probably the one I’d better do. Tank up the car, get a couple dollars in cash so I can get a coke or a coffee, and take the bank card out of my purse.

Scary.

Really scary.

What else can I do?

Use up the art supplies I already have. Make art. Making art makes me happy, and most of my spending is on art supplies which want to be used. Make art seems like a good plan.

I have 2 online courses I’m taking, I could listen to one of them.

I need a shower before I see my family tomorrow.

I am owning my faults and blogging about them *right now* as I am typing this. I’m not sure if that’s helpful except that it’s always helpful to be honest and start from truth.

I can sleep. I just finished dinner and I have full-belly sleepiness. Nap is possible.

I think . . . I think I will listen to one of my courses, and maybe do some journaling or write some letters. I have a letter to Fishspit to finish. Then the shower before bed.

And I will not get on Amazon or Etsy, even though I want to.

Because the medicine keeps the feelings under control and this is just behavior. I can change behavior. I can do this.