Kiss5Tigers

The 5 Tigers represent the big things in life. This blog is about facing them.


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Blood Pressure Meds

Today was an “adventure” in getting my meds.

I dropped one of the girls off at work, then went to Parkland to go to the urgent care office. I am about 2 1/2 weeks away from seeing the doctor and I ran out of blood pressure meds. I just needed to see someone to give me enough refill to last until the appointment.

I went to the urgent care clinic building and got sent to emergency, which is in another building. I had to pee the whole time, so that was doubly frustrating. I asked if I could use the ladies’ room and they told me no. There’s a Starbucks in the building that was doing roaring business; I wonder if they would have let me in to get a coffee.

Either way, I went to emergency. They checked me into the building by taking my temperature and playing 20 questions about my possible exposure to coronavirus. Then they walked me to emergency who took my vitals and checked me in again. Blood pressure 136 over 88, so a little high. Usually I am closer to 120 over 80. I don’t know if it was irritation or if I need my meds tweaked.

I waited about 10 minutes in emergency and got taken back across the street by an elevated walkway to the urgent care clinic. The lady at the door had told me it was closed! Clearly it wasn’t closed.

The whole office visit took maybe 15 minutes. They re-upped my prescriptions and sent me on my way. I walked to a third building where the pharmacy was. I got checked in over there, including taking my temperature for the third time in maybe 90 minutes. Then I settled in to wait.

It actually only took 15 minutes for my number to be called, but they only had one prescription ready. Three had been called over. I could wait, they said, about 45 minutes; but no, I needed to be back to work. I had to leave.

I went back later this afternoon. I brought my daughter with me to save the $5 parking fee, but then I spent $7 on drinks and a snack for us, so really it was a wash. Happy hour at Sonic means we got huge drinks for a little money, plus corny dogs. I have no air conditioning in my car so those drinks were very welcome!

The wait was completely different. First of all there was a disabled man in line in front of me. I appreciate that he had mobility issues. He walked very slowly. He kept stopping but every time he did, he raised his cane to waist height and blocked the entire passageway so I couldn’t pass him. I’m pretty sure he was doing it on purpose, though not specifically because of me. I found it frustrating but I don’t think I sighed or anything.

The registration desk gave me number 988. The display showed they had just called number 964. I knew it would be a while so I texted my daughter. Then I waited. And I dozed a little. And I waited some more. Finally they called me. It took like 3 minutes to get my stuff, and it was free. Really I spent most of the day waiting.

By then it was 5:00, rush hour. Which is really the opposite of rushing, more like parking on the highway. Literally. Came to a complete stop more than once. Still, it was nice to spend the few extra minutes with my daughter.

Daughter tells me a friend of hers hung himself several weeks ago, and there hasn’t been a funeral. His friends feel the lack of closure. It looks like she is part of the group who is planning a memorial service. If daughter doesn’t go to the service, she is going to a rally for George Floyd, the Minneapolis man who died after being knelt on by a police officer. I don’t know what to say. My daughter makes me proud, taking emotional care of her friends or standing up for what she feels is right. She’s a good kid.

Now I am home. I need to take one of the girls to the store, but that’s okay. Should be a quiet Friday night.


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Ecstacy and Hospitals

A young friend of mine, L, went to the hospital early on Thursday. I got the call from her roommate M at 5:45 in the morning. I always get these calls just before my alarm goes off.

L had been offered some ecstacy by a friend of hers. She declined it and then went out. After a few drinks, the friend convinced L to take the drug. Things were fine for a while, then they went all pear-shaped.

L became violent and aggressive. She hit one of her friends in the face. She got mad at her boyfriend because he wasn’t her father. Then she decided she’d had enough and left the apartment. Her boyfriend sensed something was very wrong and went after her.

It’s a good thing he did.

She climbed to the roof of the parking lot and tried to go over the edge. Boyfriend restrained her. She began kicking and punching and biting. Two other friends and M came to help. It took all 4 of them to keep her on the ground. She was screaming the whole time, no words, just an unending shriek.

When she wasn’t screaming, she was talking to someone that nobody else could see. She kept saying “I see him,” but she wouldn’t or couldn’t say who she saw. We believe it was her deceased father but we’ll never know.

In the meantime, neighbors heard the ruckus. They stepped outside with phones. At least one of them called the police. That’s when M called me.

M was scared and crying. Both of those are perfectly understandable responses to the situation. I told her she was doing the right thing. She put me on speaker phone. When L heard my voice, she shouted, “You piece of shit! You’re never there!” and went back to the wordless yell.

M apologized to me, but really there was nothing to apologize for. We got off the phone and I called the cops again. I gave them some details that they didn’t have.

I heard later that a lady cop arrived first. She apparently was the mental health expert but once the male cops arrived, they didn’t treat her with respect. They cuffed L, who was cooperative with the process, and took her to a local hospital.

About fifteen minutes after that, I arrived at the apartment. The young people were all sitting in s circle, decompressing. They talked about what had happened. We all laughed uproariously when a cat missed a jump. It wasn’t that funny, we just all needed a break so badly at that point.

The friend who supplied the drug never appeared. I assumed she was at work or otherwise out. It turned out she was in her room watching cartoons. She had been there all night. She had not followed L outside or tried to help or even come out to see what all the commotion was. The whole group of young people is, as they say, over her. She lost a bunch of friends that night.

Boyfriend got together some clean clothes, L’s glasses, her wallet and keys, and we headed to the hospital. We tried emergency and they wouldn’t let us in. They told us they hadn’t seen her, but gave us a number to call. We tried the psych ward; they also said they hadn’t seen her. We tried psych emergency. They said they could neither confirm nor deny that they had her. That meant she was there so I left a message with my phone number. Boyfriend and I went home.

I spent the day wondering how she was. About 10 hours later, I called again and left another message. I gave the number to boyfriend and to M, so they could call and leave their numbers in case she preferred to call one of them. Finally the phone rang.

Of course nothing can go smoothly. I answered the phone, but there was no sound. I assumed it was L, so I explained that I couldn’t hear her and I was going to hang up. It happened 2 or 3 more times and I eventually called the ward. The person I spoke to said they’d been having trouble with one of the phones and they would provide her with different equipment. At last the phone rang and I could speak with L.

Her voice was hoarse from all the screaming and she sounded tired. She stated she hadn’t seen a doctor. I asked if she was in an observation room, since I assumed this was a 72-hour psych hold. She said no, she was in a big open room with recliners and no beds. She just wanted to sleep. We got off the phone.

I called the ward and asked about the doctor. It didn’t make sense that she had been there that long and not talked to anybody. Fortunately she had signed a piece of paper that they could talk to me. They told me she had been seen twice but she was so out of it that they weren’t surprised she didn’t remember. They also told me they were going to release her the next day, Friday. I said I would pick her up.

When I saw her, she looked rough. She was clearly tired and out of it. Her anxiety was high so we stopped at a gas station for gas, cigarettes, and drinks, then I took her home.

We have talked a few times since then even though it’s only been 2 days. We talked about what could have been different, what I could have done, ways I can be there for her. She broke her hand during the fracas so we talked about ways to splint it. She told me she plans to move since friend cannot be trusted and therefore was no longer a good roommate.

I am just glad L had friends who protected her from herself. I could wish everybody had friends like that.


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Birthday in Quarantine

Good news: The covid19 test results came back negative. That means none of us has it.

The less-good news: If we were tested too early, we could still be contagious but the result doesn’t show it. So we are still quarantined for 14 days.

Victoria was told by her work not to come in for at least 15 days. As a restaurant , they are very careful about health safety. During the pandemic they have been putting together food boxes that are distributed among the local food pantries.

Yesterday was S’s birthday, one of the girls who is staying with us. We tried several things to make it special for her. I ran out to Fiesta and bought her favorite ice cream. Another girl gave her a cake. Victoria made a banner that said “Happy 18th Birthday”. And we got her hot wings from Wingstop.

There had been a plan to drive her past where she worked (which is the same place Victoria works) for the kids there to sing happy birthday to her. However, once the bosses found out, they put the kibosh in that idea. They basically told Victoria that she would face disciplinary action for breaking quarantine. Now we don’t see much difference between sitting on the couch together and sitting in a car together, but so be it, the higher ups have spoken.

We are wondering if maybe we are not taking this seriously enough. I mean, I went to the grocery store and to Wingstop. I did wear a mask the whole time but really I should have been home, quarantined. Victoria was planning a driving lesson and a drive-by visit. Maybe we should really be locked in the house all the time. And I know, if the test had come back positive, none of that would have happened.

In other news, a local night spot has closed down. The Lizard Lounge is no more. This makes me sad even though I haven’t been in years. However, they are just dumping their furniture and apparently there are chairs in the dumpster. My daughter has one in the back of her car. So I asked her to go back and get us one. We need a small chair for the living room.

Penny the pibble killed a feral kitten yesterday. It was a sad way to start the day. She is an ex bait dog so no doubt she was first trained to fight, and I know they do that with kittens. Penny kind of can’t help herself, but the rest of us are bummed by it. The kitten was still warm when we buried it.

We are thinking of renting another building to make a home for more girls. It would cost us about $3000 a month to run, so it’s all about grants and donations. If we can get a big grant, or recurring donations , we can start it.

Book club began last night. The book is called “Why Men Love Bitches” and it’s really interesting. The idea is, these are not really bitchy women, they are confident women. They are women who don’t do too much and have their own lives even when they’re in a relationship. Now I don’t mean they aren’t equal partners, but they don’t over do it to try to compensate for some imagined shortcomings. We are all learning something.

So life moves forward even with the quarantine. I am learning to write grants and Victoria is doing social media fund raising. The girls continue to learn and grow. My daughter is doing well. Life is still good.


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Nasal Swabbing

At work we have a handyman. He works for a number of people, but he was over here last week hanging a room divider for the girls’ room. On Friday, he called us and told us he was being tested for Coronavirus because someone in his apartment complex had it. Today he called us with the results: His test came back positive.

Now of course we are sorry that he is sick, although he has no symptoms. However, that means that our household needed to be tested. Fortunately, Watermark Church is doing free testing for people without insurance. Since I am on the Parkland Plan, I don’t have traditional insurance and I got the test for free.

Let me tell you: The nurse who administers it is a little humorous about it. “That physical feeling of being violated will pass, the emotional part I can’t help you with.” Which was actually cute the way she said it.

But yeah! Did it feel like a violation!

The swab is about 8″ long and it goes up your nose. Up your nose and down your throat and into your brain. It is a long-ass swab. It wasn’t exactly painful but it was not at all pleasant.

Of course I got all tense and that makes it worse. They do it with you sitting in the car and I arched all up out of the seat. I felt like, if I could have tipped my head at a different angle, it would have been better. But yeah, not fun, not fun at all.

The whole car got tested and now we wait for our results. For the next 2 weeks we are quarantined which means the 5 of us (me, Victoria, our 2 guests and the baby) are stuck in the house. Together. Victoria and I get along pretty well, I don’t know the girls will be after being cooped up for 14 days.

I am going to let my daughter take the car for the quarantine. She has things she needs to get done and I can’t go anywhere so she might as well use it. I hate for things to be wasted through non use. (Remind me of that with regard to art supplies.)

I did however get two very cool masks in the mail today from Lilydale. Who is a person in Canada. I don’t know her real name, she’s an online friend so I only know her alias. So that was a nice surprise.

And I got Jack-in-the-Box for lunch. Tacos and egg rolls. Greasy greasy food but I’ve been eating home cooking for a couple weeks now so it was really good for a change.

Here’s hoping the tests come back negative and life returns to “normal”.


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Rainy Days and Fridays

Eventful day for me. Or at least a busy one.

I had broken sleep last night. First was a thunder storm that woke me up. Then there was a helicopter in our neighborhood. I heard from the neighbors that the police were in the street outside the house. I gather there was a man hunt of some kind but so far I haven’t found proof of that. Next came my early morning pee wake up. Then the alarm went off.

Once the handyman left, I got to work on my computer. I have applied to Via Hope to take my certified peer specialist class. It will cost $575 but it seems like my boss is behind me taking it. She will pay for it, if there’s enough money. So I filled out most of the application for Via Hope but I still need 2 recommendations. I asked a friend from MHA and one from DBSA to help me out.

I tried to help V make a thank you video for donations received but I am not a cinematographer. She made one herself and it’s much better.

I made split pea soup for lunch, and right now I am making barbecue pork for dinner. We have 4 packs of pork so we need to eat it timely. There will be a lot of pork and a lot of split peas in the upcoming 2 weeks. The trick is to make it taste different.

I did take a nap this afternoon. That wasn’t part of the plan but it happened nonetheless. I think it was because I was tired from my broken sleep.


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North Texas Giving Tuesday

Hello hello hello

Today is a mixed bag of stuff.

In the middle of the night, I got a notice from unemployment that they turned me down because I gave incorrect information. Now I actually spoke to a person — they called me, I can’t get through to them — and I thought we got it all squared away. I thought the Census Bureau was my last employer because they hired me back in March, but since they never paid me, I am not considered an employee. Now I have to try to call the unemployment people again and see if I can find out what went astray.

On the other hand, Parkland finally approved me so I got my blood pressure meds today. I was starting to get headaches from blood pressure being too high so this is a great thing. It also means I have health insurance for the coming year.

I ordered stamps from the post office and they are having issues with delivering them. I don’t know why. On May 2 at 10:27 it says “out for delivery” and by 3:30 the same day, the package is marked “available for pickup”. I mean, if I was going to pick them up, couldn’t I have just gone to the post office and bought stamps? I have letters waiting to go out.

I did speak to the mail carrier, but he doesn’t sort his own mail so he said I needed to call. Well I’m trying but it’s nearly impossible. The system is set up to do everything automated and will only let you speak to a representative under certain circumstances. Stamp orders is not one of those circumstances. So I tried general customer service and right now I have been on hold for 36 minutes waiting for a representative. I know it’s Covid season but they are providing poor service with no way to correct it.

Today is North Texas Giving Tuesday and I work at a non profit so if you’re looking for a place to give . . . We got 501c3 status, I think it was Thursday, and already all the beds are filled. Teenagers need a place to go, a safe house for them is a real blessing. So we have 2 girls, one with a baby, who we are helping get back on track.

I am hoping to make some artist trading cards this afternoon since I have some time to myself. I might just watch TV and crochet though. I don’t know. I started a series called “Tales From The Loop“. It’s kind of “Eureka” meets “The Twilight Zone“. I’m really enjoying it. I’m thinking of getting a drink in a second and looking up a local phone number for the post office.

Here’s hoping I find stamps soon!


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New Digs

I am now living in Dallas proper, not just in the Dallas area.

I have a room at Shepherd Inn where I am the house manager. Right now that mostly means I cook. I don’t love cooking, but everyone likes my food here so I don’t hate it either.

My ex husband hated my cooking. He is the only person I know who could make the statement “This is like gourmet food” sound like an insult. He liked very processed food and I tend to start with ingredients and try to add veg whenever possible. He didn’t like veg. He wanted meat, cheese and bread. I’m surprised he didn’t have more digestion issues than he did. Anyway.

It’s nice to cook for people who appreciate it. I made crock pot chicken twice now. Banana bread. Egg salad. Omelets. Salmon. I have a crock pot of apple sauce cooking. It’ll be like apple pie filling without the crust. Chicken salad. This week I’ll try for spaghetti sauce. We have a couple pounds of venison in the freezer that I want to use up. Maybe chili later in the week.

We have our first guest at Shepherd Inn. She was an emergency intake, her boyfriend basically beat the shit out of her and she had nowhere to go. We are supposed to get a young single mom later this week. It’s pretty exciting. I really hope we can make a difference in these people’s lives.

V is painting the living room with her mother. I hope it’s done in time to go grocery shopping later today. We don’t need a lot of stuff but we are out of a few things. I’m working on this and on my Patreon today so I’m not painting. I don’t really have clothes to paint in anyway.

I had a job interview yesterday with Texas Workforce Commission, or Work In Texas or whatever euphemism they’re using for the unemployment office these days. I guess it’s not actually the unemployment office because all that is handled through a single office in Austin. The local centers are all about employment. So the position would be helping people get further education to move into a different field and helping with job matching. I was deucedly unprepared for the interview. They wanted to know what I knew about the job, which was pretty much nothing. I did tell them at the end that I knew I didn’t a lot about the job, but a benefit of that is that they can train me their way because I don’t bring a lot of preconceived notions with me. They gave me several scenarios to comment on. V overheard — it was online so I was in the kitchen — and said I interviewed really well. I’m not sure the interviewers share her opinion. But I did my best, what else can a person do?

I spoke to unemployment this week. They called me which was good because I had been trying for ages to reach them and couldn’t get through. I was offered that job at the census bureau but not given a start date. Now census says operations are suspended so I can’t even guess when they’ll need me. I figured I probably qualified for the extra $600 they are giving out, even though I have otherwise used up my benefits for the year. So they are going to update the information and reapply for me. See what happens.

I had several face masks, and now I can’t find any of them. I have misplaced the llama one and the sugar skull one. Sugar skulls might be in the car so I should check there but the llamas, I don’t know. I really need to look for them in case we go out later. We’re supposed to go grocery shopping and we are still social distancing.

Texas is supposed to be opening up starting yesterday. Restaurants are open at 25% capacity to keep distance between diners. Bars the same. But I am hoping for Barnes & Noble or Half Price Books to open. I miss coffee and browse the stacks. So many cool books waiting for me to read them.

I am currently reading Unf#ck Your Brain by Faith G. Harper. It’s a small book but it is taking me forever to read. I really hate that I can’t read any more. Well I can still read, I mean, I know how; but I seem to lack the focus to actually read a book. Even fiction.

I have put in my background check for CK Family Services. Talk about extensive! Ten years of residences, 6 personal references, and oh yeah supply my own copy of my driving record. Even the government didn’t ask for that much stuff. Though I suppose they have a record of my addresses due to filing income tax.

Parkland has been a headache. I am out of my blood pressure meds and I can’t get them. The out-of-pocket price was $108 which I just don’t have. I tried to apply for the Parkland Plan but I didn’t have all the documents I needed. I was told to bring a copy of my latest bank statement. I went back yesterday with the statement and they told me it was supposed to be my last 3 statements. I can go back Monday to finish the process but oh boy, do I not feel like going. But I will. I will feel pretty achy by Monday and be ready to get my meds. I might bring daughter down with me since she needs the insurance too. She would also benefit from the VIP program for abuse survivors. I just don’t know if she’ll live in town long enough to attend it. Her lease is up in August.

So much going on, and I’m feeling a real need to look for those masks. I think I’ll jump off here.