Kiss5Tigers

The 5 Tigers represent the big things in life. This blog is about facing them.

Facebook Dating

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Lately it seems like everyone around me is coupling up.

Now I’m happy for my friends, but it makes me a little melancholy. I get tired of being alone. Friends are busy with their new love and I am left to my own devices.

So I got curious. What were they doing that I wasn’t? Was I fundamentally flawed in some way, or was it something I could do differently?

I asked K. She said she met her guy on Facebook dating and they hit it off right away. They had only known each other a couple of weeks when Covid became an issue. They decided that they wanted to be quarantined together and they’ve been together ever since.

I asked V. She said she also met her guy on Facebook dating. They shared many interests and values. She was nervous to meet him in person. They’ve known each other a month and already have decided to get married.

I’m not looking to live together or get married that fast, but there seemed to be a pattern. These were real matches not just hooking up. I can get laid if all I want is sex; I want a connection with somebody. This seemed like a promising route. I filled out a profile and went to work.

Now I’m a little picky. I have a physical type I prefer so I was able to rule out some people who simply didn’t appeal to me. I hate being that shallow, but I know that I like a tall man with some meat on him. Facial hair is good though not a requirement. I like long hair on men, but really, by my age (over 50) long hair isn’t always a good look. So smile at the pictures of 30 year olds but scroll past. Age was a factor. I want someone with whom I can have a conversation. Under 53 years old I mostly skipped.

Next I am profile picky. Please say something about yourself. Blank profiles don’t interest me. Three-word profiles don’t say much about you. Now some things say a lot about you. If you tell me in your profile that you are anti gun control or pro Trump or God fearing, I know we are a poor match. You might be hot, but I would be so frustrated with you! I like to see several pictures, not just head shots. I also think the questions are useful because they give you something to write about.

I chose a few guys to “like” and waited to see what happened. Most of them don’t have the skills to keep my interest while texting. I’m sure they’re great guys, they’re just not MY guy. But nobody was creepy and it was fun. I didn’t expect true love, maybe a dinner or coffee at some point. So it was a semi successful experiment.

And then.

And then I ran across this one profile. They guy seemed a little goofy and somewhat geeky, which is pretty much my wheelhouse. He said he was good at making baklava and he was interested in hypnosis. I like baklava. He said Doctor Who was his favorite show. I like Doctor Who. Interesting.

I looked at his photos. Middle aged guy, blue eyes, various facial hair, some with a shaved head some with hair. He played with filters in some of the pictures so I knew he was a little goofy.

What the hell. Like.

It wasn’t long before I got a reply. We texted. Within an hour, he asked if he could call me. That was interesting. I said yes. He called, I expected some banter and maybe phone sex. We talked a while, then we talked some more. A lot more. And when we got off the phone, we were done with Facebook dating.

We met in person on Friday. We went out for Mexican food and a little flirting. Who am I kidding? The food was good, the time together better. We kissed a lot. We went to Andy’s for ice cream, and I let the thing melt. I love a Snow Monster, and I was instead captivated by the man sitting next to me. We went to a park and made out like teenagers.

Saturday I went to a pool party. I passed within 10 miles of his house (we don’t live near each other) so I called. We got together again. He greeted me with a hug and whispered in my ear, “Take me with you.” Proof that even if you love your family, you can have too much. We went to a little restaurant with a bar and closed the place. We sat in front of his house for a long time. Eventually I got thirsty and we ended up on the sofa in his home office. No sex but such fun.

It’s been a week since I’ve seen him. We talk every day for too many hours about a wide range of topics. We are very similar without being identical. I’ve known this man a week, and we wish we could be together more. He’ll come out on Saturday so we can spend the day. We have a weekend planned in a couple of weeks.

I saw him for lunch today. Barely half an hour, but so worth it. We split an entree at Chili’s and dashed back to meet my boss. It was so good to see him. We sat side by side in a booth with our legs touching. I was so conscious of his knee next to mine! He put his arm around my shoulders. It’s the little things and those stand out to me.

So really, if you’re looking for dating, I can recommend Facebook dating app. All those years of gathering data on us have paid off in a tremendous way.

Author: Allison Leonard / Kiss5Tigers

I like sci-fi movies, and I noticed that I like the noir ones best. They are almost universally set in a sort of post-apocalyptic dystopia. I later realized, I find them comforting and familiar, probably because I live there, at least in my inner life. Perhaps things are not as bleak as they seem, or perhaps I am simply learning to keep a better attitude. This is the chronicle of my adventures. May you find something valuable here.

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