So I’ve posted my “I want” list, this is my “I am” list.
What do I bring to a relationship?
I am loyal. Stupidly loyal, ask my family about my ex husband, but there you are.
I can support myself. I don’t expect someone to pay my bills for me. In fact, I will never be financially dependent on another person if I can help it. I plan to work for 20 more years, which is into my 70’s, as long as I’m able to.
I expect and assume the best of people. This makes me a little naive and gullible. I am easy to deceive which is great if you’re planning a surprise party for me and not great if you’re cheating. I’ve had both.
I don’t do fights. I tend to leave the room if I’m upset and come back when I have something I can say calmly. I prefer to see anger as an indicator that something needs to be addressed, and to come back with a solution not just to complain. I am solution oriented. Although, there are times when I just need to vent.
I will support you in whatever you want to do. I will even put my desires aside to help you with yours but be careful of that because it can make me resentful. Yes, even though I choose it. I need you to be supportive of me too.
I have become more guarded. You will need to work at getting past my hard outer shell. I am told the creamy center is worth it.
I’m adventurous. I will try things, at least things that aren’t beyond my physical ability, because I am not buff.
I’m not a hottie. That means I have had to work harder and settle for less. It means you can reap the benefit of that, because I am likely to go the extra mile and make more of an effort.
I am looking for someone who I am their One. I like the idea of polyamory but I feel like I’m always competing for “my” guy’s attention and that gets to me. I want to be comfortable in a relationship, not always on edge. I want to be able to say “yeah, go with whoever you want” and be sure that he will come home with me. I don’t mind flirting, but he is mine.
I am secure in myself. I know who I am at this age and I’m good with me. I won’t be looking for constant validation. I know whether these pants make me look fat and I’m not looking to pick a fight.
I believe in time alone and time with friends. I don’t need you around 24 / 7 although I may want you around. Need and want are very different. I have friends and hobbies and I don’t want to give them up just because there is suddenly a man in my life.
I am smart. I am putting myself through college and I am 3 classes from the degree. It’s taken me a long time to get here and I plan to finish it.
I am not religious. I can do the church thing as part of life but not my whole life. And frankly I’d rather sleep in on a Sunday. I need a day of rest.
I am bipolar so balance is very important to me. I spend a huge amount of time seeking balance and that includes in relationships. Now balance is not static, it is dynamic so it takes constant attention. Obsession is not good for me, neither my own nor someone else’s.
I love animals, but especially cats. I am city girl rather than a country girl. I live right outside of Dallas, and it doesn’t feel like enough of a city to me. But I am a bi-coastal girl at heart.
I have some friends, S and H, who have what is to me about the perfect relationship. They live 4 houses apart by accident — they bought the houses before they met. They’ve been together something like 30 years now. They’ll probably never get married. And they adore each other. I kind of want that, though probably in a neighborhood I could afford! lol I can support myself but I’m not wealthy.
I’ll think some more about this but that’s a good list to start.