Kiss5Tigers

The 5 Tigers represent the big things in life. This blog is about facing them.

The things you think about

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You ever catch yourself thinking about random stuff?  I mean, deeply pondering, not just the moment when you realize you have the words to “Candy Man” floating through your head.

I wonder about my daughter’s life.  We talk for about 5 minutes on the phone every week or so.  Neither one of us is big talkers or big phone people so this actually gets us pretty caught up.  And really neither one of us feels like anything notable happens in life.  It’s just the daily grind.  And yet, her daily grind is different from mine so I am curious about it.  Who does she see?  What does she do?  What’s work like?  What’s her boss or her housemate like?  Oh, my little stoner girl, I love you and I have to let go of you so you will never know how often I think of you.  Fly free while you can, because life will tie you down soon enough.

I wonder about this law of attraction stuff.  I mean, it sounds good, but is it real?  Because I notice in life that you tend to find what you’re looking for.  So if you’re looking for the good stuff, you notice the good stuff; but if you’re focused on the crappy stuff, you find that instead.  I don’t know if focusing on the good makes the good happen, that is, I don’t know if the Universe actually cares enough about where your energy is directed to cooperate or even notice.

I wonder if I’ll pass the credit check part of the background check for my new job.  The longer it goes without me getting a result, the more nervous I become.

I wonder if I’ll go blind.  This is not as random as it seems.  I have a cataract in my left eye and I am so nearsighted that I almost can’t get contacts any more.  Not to mention the astigmatism.  Now that law of attraction stuff says I can just believe my way into better eyesight.  Focusing on the loss only draws it to me.  Don’t speak blindness into being, focus on the good.  Maybe the presbyopia will balance the myopia and I’ll break even.  You never know.

I wonder if I can ever get fully comfortable on this sofa.  It’s not a bad sofa but it tends to kind of suck me in and I have trouble getting out of it.  This is not a metaphor, I literally have difficulty standing up out of this sofa.

I wonder if I could replace ground beef with less expensive ground pork in my diet.  Would it help with the anemia?  I finally bought the iron pills.  At least, I bought the ones the pharmacy had, they weren’t the same kind my doctor recommended.  These say “iron” but the doctor said “ferrous sulfate” so I wonder if this will work okay.  There might be a reason the doctor said ferrous sulfate specifically.

I wonder why I’m anemic.  I mean, I’m a fat person, I eat me some food, how can I be short of iron?  I understand why I need vitamin D, I never go outside in Texas, but I sure eat meat.  Law of attraction says I can change my body by believing, with the corollary belief that if it doesn’t change it’s because I don’t believe enough.  Can I believe iron into my body?  I doubt it.  But look at those instances of multiple personalities where one needs glasses and another doesn’t.  The mind body connection is fascinating.

I wonder if anybody but me reads my blog.  Not that it matters since I write for myself but there is enough ego here to hope someone finds it interesting besides myself.

What do you wonder about?

Author: Allison Leonard / Kiss5Tigers

I like sci-fi movies, and I noticed that I like the noir ones best. They are almost universally set in a sort of post-apocalyptic dystopia. I later realized, I find them comforting and familiar, probably because I live there, at least in my inner life. Perhaps things are not as bleak as they seem, or perhaps I am simply learning to keep a better attitude. This is the chronicle of my adventures. May you find something valuable here.

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