The 5 Tigers represent the big things in life. This blog is about facing them.

This week

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This week I have been mildly manic.  Last weekend I stayed up too late working on InCoWriMo (see previous post for details).  It’s that drive to accomplish everything and finish the task, even though in this case the task was to write a letter daily.

Then I went shopping.  Now I only spend about $50, including something I picked up for one of my roommates.  If he hadn’t asked me to get it, I would probably have stayed out of the store.  I bought 2 shirts and some underwear.  I still need another pair of black boots, some bras, and some sneakers.  But I didn’t go crazy and I bought stuff I needed so I don’t feel horrible about it, it’s just part of a trend.  I did stop at Half Price Books and pick up a book on chakras since I want to use that as the theme for my subscription box.  I consider that a $5.00 business expense, no big.

It’s the online shopping that’s a problem these days.  I ordered a second batch of stamps.  No international ones this time, which will probably be a mistake.  I joined Bobcat in a Box, so I’m still waiting to see what they send me.  I ordered stationery products from not one but three different places.  I ordered some zines from Zine-o-matic.  Oh and I subscribed to a magazine.  It’s a LOT.  It’s not good.  I mean, any one of these things is okay and it’s stuff I’ve wanted for a while but again it’s the trend.

I find the depression end of things so much easier to manage than the mania.  Mania makes me want to blow off work because there are so many interesting things to do.  Depression is just putting one foot in front of the other and getting through it.  I think I’m a better employee when I’m mildly depressed.  Interesting idea, that depression makes work possible.

Speaking of work, my job is coming to an end shortly, though no specific date at this time.  That’s the problem with disaster work, it is very seasonal.  So I am looking for my next gig.  I turn out to be okay on the phone but really good at pushing paper, so civil service is good for me.  I’ve applied to 8 jobs but no response so far.  Not even a note that they’re looking at my resume.  That’s a little disconcerting, but I suppose it is like mail art, where I send something out and who knows what happens to it.  Something good, I hope.

In other news, there’s been another school shooting this week.  This one is different because they actually caught the guy.  He did not suicide and he was not shot by law enforcement.  It will be interesting to see why he did this, a missing piece in many mass shootings.  Of course it renews the gun debate.  I look at other countries with lower rates of gun violence, and I notice that they do not allow pistols and other guns that are designed specifically to kill humans.  Even England, with it’s history of blood sports, allows rifles but not hand guns.  Japan has a very low rate of gun violence, but they started from a point of “guns are illegal” and that will never happen in the US because of the Constitution.  I’d like to see handguns and assault rifles be harder to get.  I don’t feel the same about shotguns, since I live in a place where they are needed for protection from wildlife (mostly snakes).  And I don’t have a problem with hunting as long as they actually use the animal.  Trophy hunting makes me sad.

Now I’m late for getting to work.  I hate to say I don’t care that much, but since the job is ending, the wind is kind of out of my sails for the job.  Plus I enjoyed the data crunching so much more than I am enjoying the phone work.  See how it is?  Sometimes this illness just frustrates me.

Author: Allison Leonard / Kiss5Tigers

I like sci-fi movies, and I noticed that I like the noir ones best. They are almost universally set in a sort of post-apocalyptic dystopia. I later realized, I find them comforting and familiar, probably because I live there, at least in my inner life. Perhaps things are not as bleak as they seem, or perhaps I am simply learning to keep a better attitude. This is the chronicle of my adventures. May you find something valuable here.

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