The 5 Tigers represent the big things in life. This blog is about facing them.

Where I need to be

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I did another presentation at an IOP today.  A gentleman told me I am getting much better, and so did the IOP coordinator and my volunteer supervisor.

“What’s different?” asked Ricardo

“Nothing,” I said.  “I just decided to try it without notes.  After all, it’s my life, I should know it pretty well.”

But then I thought, I pulled a card this morning to get a thought for the day, and I got “Alignment”.  I felt like it was the universe telling me I was right where I was supposed to be, doing what I was supposed to do.  I went into the presentation feeling more confident and I think it made a huge difference.  But I didn’t tell Ricardo any of this, he is an atheist and doesn’t really have a spiritual practice of any kind, I don’t think he’d get it.

Speaking of alignment and things the non-spiritual might not get, I had a moment of synchronicity this week.  I got a letter addressed to my married name.  I was like, whuuuut?  I haven’t used that name in 15 years!  So I opened it.  I’m curious like that.

It was a letter from an attorney saying that State Farm was looking for me to pay me some money for an accident.  Hmmm.  Last accident I was in was 7 years ago, so I called State Farm.  I figured they had the wrong person.  Or it was a scam.

Turned out, State Farm owed me money.  For an accident I was in 7 years ago.  They are sending a check.

It happens that next week I am taking a trip with my daughter to commemorate her father.  I was feeling the financial strain, not sure how much we could afford to do.  This money comes just when I need it.  Her dad had the gift for making money appear out of nowhere, so it feels like this is him making money appear, as he did.

Ricardo says not to downplay my part in this, after all I did survive an accident.  (I did, my friend who was driving did, the other car did, but my friend’s truck did not; it was totaled.)  Yes, but I also left money on the table — never leave money on the table! — and I opened a suspicious letter.  I don’t usually open letters with no return address on them.  Timing.  Timing is everything.

I also have been working on divesting myself of poverty thinking.  I have been telling myself there is always more money, I just have to go out and earn it.  Since I’ve been saying that, there has always been more money.  Like this check, it just appears.  Like the dog sitting.

My cousin is going out of town this month and asked me to dog sit for the family.  Now I would do this just because it’s my cousin and he asked, but he offered to pay me.  He will need me from 2nd to 10th, and 14th to 23rd.  What’s cool is, my trip with my daughter is 10th to 14th, exactly the days he will be home.  Timing, see?  It lined up so perfectly.  I have said to a friend of mine (not Ricardo) that I am not a religious person but this is clearly a God thing, so arbitrary and so perfectly timed.

So I am learning to be where I am, and that here and now is perfectly good and balanced.  Money shows up when it’s needed, opportunities appear at the right time, all I have to do is be in the right place to make use of them.  And I’m starting to be able to do that.

Author: Allison Leonard / Kiss5Tigers

I like sci-fi movies, and I noticed that I like the noir ones best. They are almost universally set in a sort of post-apocalyptic dystopia. I later realized, I find them comforting and familiar, probably because I live there, at least in my inner life. Perhaps things are not as bleak as they seem, or perhaps I am simply learning to keep a better attitude. This is the chronicle of my adventures. May you find something valuable here.

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